I Love Tape and Star Wars... and tape...

I don't see how the Empire could be powerful enough to control the galaxy and still lose to an army of teddy bears   :confused:

The Empire did not lose to a bunch of teddy bears. They lost because of the damned wookie.

For the past few days I have slept some. I have eaten some. And I have packed more boxes than I ever care to again.  I know good and well I will more than likely be repeating the process again in 2014 twice - once to finish this move and another to hopefully move from the apartment into a more permanent residence. I. AM. NOT. AMUSED.  Okay, I'm better. Just had to get that out. Phew.  

What is tickling my "not so funny bone" during this weird adventure is "tape." 

Since the first time I encountered the wonderfully sticky substance and wrapped my first present using GOBS of it, tape has been my friend. It's versitile, handy and my "go-to" adhesive for many things.  Let's face it, without duct tape the world would be in sorry shape. Who needs the force? I am Obi Wan with duct tape. 

But packing tape is an entirely different story. 

It's not like duct tape, electrical tape, scotch tape, strapping tape, etc. It has it's own handled dispenser which my husband handles as if he were Luke Skywalker brandishing his light saber against Darth Vader in the Battle of Endor.  I operate it like an Ewok trying to fly a sky rider while a storm trooper is after me.  It's a bloody mess. My husband is a Packing Tape Jedi Knight. Yoda is he. In awe am I. 

Yoda stated earlier to me he was tired of going to war with the Boxes.  He said, "After days of battle, I'm tired and sore. And if I have to hear the sound of tape again..."

I tuned out the Jedi Master. 

With all of the tape I have ever wielded, I have never once given thought to the sound it makes coming off the roll.  We battled another box and it yielded it the tape. Each strip held a sound different from the last as it howled its battle cry. 

As we sealed the last box for part one of the journey, Yoda was exhausted, but victorious. He never wants to hear the tape emit any sound as long as he lives. He deserves a long, winter's nap. Personally, I want to know if packing tape would have finished building the other half of the Death Star (or maybe that's really the job of packing tape's big brother duct tape.) I think I'm going to have to find a Wookie and ask... 

Metamorphosis

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.” 

~ Eric Roth~

"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" (Screenplay)

I've lived in one city my entire life. I've lived within five miles of the house I grew up in, though I have moved several times. For all practical purposes, this place has been my cocoon, even though I have very much wanted to "escape" to other places or sometimes drifted away mentally and felt as though I was living my own "Secret Life of Walter Mitty." 

Today is the last day that "officially" my family will really be together.  My husband is being transferred to Dallas and we have found an apartment in the spanning metroplex 350 miles away.  Tomorrow the movers come and we will be transporting much of the household to another place "far, far away." Some of our belongings will stay here while I'm still here searching for a new job, another story all together.  Then move #2 will happen. (Please insert sarcastic sounding joyful giddyness here.) 

It's the genesis of an empty nest. My kids are of the age where they are branching out, trying new things and becoming individuals I am proud of. But it's also a scary thing too. I'm ready, but not ready.  

While going through things and packing up a lifetime of belongings, it's amazing the things I have kept. I know why I have kept much of it - I'm a sentimental fool. But moving this stuff, I just want to say, "F-it. Throw the lot of it out. I'm done." But then emotion tugs at me and I just can't do it. I'm a sentimental fool. 

The moving truck arrives in the morning and all I can do is hope things arrive in one piece... or arrive at all. This whole thing though explains why I haven't blogged in a while. However, as my darling husband is in the land of Far, Far Away, I'm sure I'll have some food for thought as I go about a season of change... rather like the butterflies who have to emerge from the safety and comfort of their cocoons if they want to fly.  (BTW...The blue ones are my favorite.) 

Red, White and Blue Thoughts

Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty.
~John F. Kennedy~ 

Dad - 1943 Ft. Bliss 

November 11, 1919

It was the first Veteran's Day - the commemoration of Armistice Day ( a day set aside to honor the vets of WWI, the Great War.)  It was made a national / legal "holiday" in 1938 to honor veterans of all wars and through several modifications and alterations was sealed in stone as November 11th by President Ford. 

My father was born a few months before the "end" of WWI.  Following the Great War came the Great Depression. He was blessed and didn't have as hard of a time as some, but in 1942, he enlisted in the U.S. Army, where he became a sergeant.  He transferred to the Air Corps and reached the rank of captain. He told me stories of his time in the military, some were funny, some not so much. But he was proud to have served and his patriotism always shone through.

As he got older he watched later generations' patriotism melt into apathy.  Maybe it happened because of the Korea / Vietnam, "wars" the United States "shouldn't" have been involved in. (Or am I supposed to say "conflicts?" I forget.) With the age of the Cold War and heightened nuclear era, there was a new and different type of patriotism, not the age-old "Rosie the Riveter" and "Uncle Sam Wants You" type of patriotism seen with WWII.  We wanted to "beat" Russia in the arms race, but it wasn't what I would call a red,white and blue patriotic effort. 

It took an act of terrorism on American soil to ignite the embers that lay dormant for so long. Americans wanted to be patriotic again. They wanted justice. They wanted to pay back the enemy, just as we did when the Japanese Imperial Navy took the lives of American soliders on a beautiful Sunday morning at Pearl Harbor. 

But these weren't soldiers who were killed. 

These were everyday citizens going about their daily lives...

Lives snuffed short because someone, somewhere didn't like what America stands for. 

Over a debris field, a tattered flag was hoisted and the spirit of the American people soared anew in a wave of patriotism not seen since WWII. 

So ... 

What is this thing called patriotism? 

One might say it's the love, support or devotion to one's country. Others would have a different definition and I'm not sure today exactly how dad would define it. 

I would say it's the feeling one has deep down inside when you know we live in the greatest nation on Earth and when that nation is threatened, you would wrap yourself in the red, white and blue and die to defend it.

On this Veterans Day... it's been 70 years since this photo of my dad was taken at Fort Bliss. For all who have served (including my mother, aunts, uncles, brother, brothers in law, nephews, friends... etc!), who are still serving, or who will serve this great nation of ours, you are appreciated more than you will ever know. May you all rest easy tonight whether you are in the sandbox, sailing the seven seas, flying high across the moonless sky or wherever you may be... God Bless each and every one of you. 

Simplicity and Honesty

I normally start all my blogs with a quote. Today - not so much.  I'm going to try to keep this simple and honest. No pretty pictures. Just raw and honest about a few things.

When I was a kid, I had all the unrealistic expectations you would expect a child to have. As I became a teenager, I had a couple of lofty ambitions. I expected I would become a journalist, the next Woodward/Bernstein, or I would work for Rolling Stone or Time magazine - travel the world and see the sights and hear the sounds the world has to offer.  But I grew older and I settled for less and I settled down. I got used to routine and the day-in/day-out became comfortable.

I never stopped to wonder why.

The time has come to take everything I have known and disenfranchise myself from my hometown and take on "new adventures." It's harder when we get older. Even though I remind myself I'm not old, right now - this very moment - I feel old. And afraid.

There. I said it. I'm afraid of starting completely over.

I'm afraid of moving to a new place that's not so comfortable. This town is like a well-worn pair of jeans. But I'm scared to see if that pair of jeans is just hanging on by a thread and if my underwear is starting to show.

I'm afraid of trying to find a new job.
I'm afraid of not finding a job.
I'm afraid of looking for a new place to live.
I'm afraid of homelessness.
I'm afraid of finding new doctors because mine know me so well.
I'm afraid of not finding doctors that have a clue.
I'm afraid of driving in a place I know nothing about that has a crap-ton more traffic.
I'm afraid of getting into an accident.
I'm afraid of not fitting in.
I'm afraid of people not understanding my warped sense of humor.
I'm afraid of being "alone" in a place with thousands of people.
I'm afraid of wanting to come running "home" and home just not being home anymore.

I never thought that my fearless teenage self would be sitting in front of a computer at middle age afraid to embrace change. But there it is in stark black and white. Simple and honest. 

Ridin' the Storm Out

"Ridin' the storm out, waitin' for the thaw out..." 

- REO Speedwagon - 

It's a beautiful, bright and sunny day in the Texas Panhandle. Not a cloud in the sky dampens the horizon. Yet, here I sit procrastinating. The storm of change is coming and I should be preparing for its onslaught, but I'm not. I'm in a state of fear and denial. I'm like the proverbial ostrich sticking its head in the sand. However, like the bird, my butt is sticking up in the air and I'm sure I'm about to take one for the team with no lube, if you know what I mean.  

My spousal unit tells me I don't have to carry the burden alone for what's going on at home. I'm cynical and jaded right now. I feel like I do.  I have to-do list after to-do list made up.  They grow longer by the day and there's not enough hours to tackle even a portion of them. So I suppose that's why it's easier to sit and do nothing than to get off my ass and do "something." But as the deadline for having all this stuff done grows near, the self-loathing for not having anything done sooner will grow to biblical proportions and I'll be kicking myself in the hind-end that already took one. Double-whammy.

How does one prep for change when one doesn't want things to change in many regards, but does in others? How does one know if they are doing the right thing or the wrong thing? How does one make decisions that alters their life, but also the lives of so many people around them for good, bad or indifferent and those people don't have much say? It frustrates me on a level that's almost unbearable. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing and there's at least one person I need help from that's is unwilling to do so. It's frustrating beyond the tolerable and I try to shove that fed-up part of me in the back of my mind, but it niggles at me from time to time and I just want to break like a squall line dumping rain across the plains.  (Long run-on sentence. Sorry.)

I wish I could say more as to what's going on, but I'm not at liberty right now. Just know that my life is upside down and I don't like the view. I've lost my rose-colored glasses. If I can just ride this storm of change out and wait for the thaw out, things will be okay. But right now, I'm feeling the outflow boundary, the winds kicking up and the rush of air blowing across my face. I see the lightning on the horizon and hear the distant rumbles of thunder. The storm is coming and as it hits I will just pray for the best. 

Okay... going to suck it up and get to work. Tally-Ho!

All That & A Bag O' Chips

“The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook.” 

― Julia Child

Every time I turn around there is some new "fad diet" or some commercial hyping a new piece of wonder-equipment.  I hear friends talking about Herbalife, Weight Watchers, Atkins, The Paleo Diet, The South Beach Diet or whatever is the name of the anti-fat game this week. (All trademarked etc.)  And I'm not bad-mouthing them though I'm sure it will seem this way. I know millions of folks have lost weight with them and I'm happy for them and I hope those people can keep it off. However, with some of these, I cannot see why I have to pay money to buy products to lose weight when God has given me natural, pure and healthy foods to eat. It's the junk that kills. 

I have fallen prey to more than a few fad diets in my 40+ years. (The worst of which I don't want to discuss, but cost me my gallbladder.) But about a year and a half ago it got real. It took me hitting the 200 pound mark to suck it up and face reality.  It took me hitting a size 22 to do so. Am I proud of those facts? No. It has taken me a year to admit it in a public forum.  Am I where I want to be? Not yet. But I'm getting there. I'm down over 40 pounds and 4 dress sizes and counting. Yay! Call me a happy camper. 

 I've been keeping it simple and I'm just calling it the Common Sense Lifestyle Change. 

First, let's talk about FOOD! (Because we all like food.)

* Most of the foods I buy are organic or generally have ingredients I can pronounce.  I take my additives very seriously and try not to buy anything with hormones or anything that would gross me out if I were to watch how it was made. Very rarely do I buy things that aren't "simple." I'm probably about 85% vegetarian about now. I just can't seem to give up my steak and seafood. Yum. However, I have tried being a raw vegan for a bit and I actually am probably closer to vegan than vegetarian... but for the love of seafood, steak... oh, and Texas BBQ. Mmmmmm. 

One of the main reasons for this is I have to be very careful of nitrates and preservatives in food because of the migraines they trigger. Makes me not so happy.  There are a lot of things in food that affect a lot of people differently. If you have health issues, you might have a food allergy or intolerance. It's something to at least consider. 

* I generally measure out the foods I'm going to eat.  - Portion control. -  Once you are used to eating a pint of ice cream at a time (which I have done), you have to retrain your brain to understand what a "true" serving size really is.  That's one of the reasons people are obese.  Learn what constitutes a portion and it gets much easier from there.

EXAMPLE: A chip-bender to the bottom of a 9-ounce bag is 1,260 calories sans the dip. So stick to 1 serving, about 15 chips—that’s 140 calories—or pick up some 100-calorie snack packs and save 1,120 calories

* Learn to slow down when eating and understand what "FULL" really feels like. There's no need to finish everything on your plate. The first few times I left food on my plate at a restaurant, I felt really, horribly guilty.  (Starving kids in China...?)  But at the same time, most restaurant portion sizes are enough for two people. WHY would I want to do that to myself?  The sad thing is that I did that to myself for a long time. 

* DO NOT EAT IN FRONT OF THE TELEVISION. If you eat in front of the TV, studies show you consume almost 300 calories more than if you ate at the table. 

* Last but not least, I don't deprive myself. If I want some creme brûlée or dessert once in a blue moon, I will enjoy some. But I'm not going to go Banzai bat crap crazy and I'm not going to feel guilty. I will eat right the rest of the time and make up for it. No starvation. No binge/purge. Just pure, clean eating. 
Now, I know that I'm going to turn off a lot of people when I say the next word, but bear with me. "Exercise."   But I'm going to add something to it... if you haven't exercised in a long time, you don't have to go to extremes starting out,  join a gym, do DVD's, workout on the Wii or anything like that.  Ready? Cool secrets here:

* If all you can do is walk up and down a hallway of your house do it.

* From the hallway move to the driveway or the front sidewalk or maybe to the end of the block. (You get the picture.)  I used to tell my dad at 90 years old when he was recovering from a fall, "Just take one more step dad. One more step will get you stronger. What will one more step get you?"  

* From steps, move to a strength move of stairs or a curb.  Step up and down. If you need to hold on to something, do it. 

Something fun for cardio and to get the muscles engaged: Dance like there is no one watching. For Heaven's Sake, put on some great tunes and get moving. It doesn't matter if all you can do is sit in a chair and tap your feet and clap your hands or raise your arms. It's SOMETHING. 

     Side note: It's been said TAPPING YOUR FEET THROUGH OUT THE DAY BURNS ABOUT 350 CALORIES A DAY!!!!! Seriously... those who fidget have got to have an edge on the rest of us. 

Some of my favorite tunes while cleaning house (WHICH ALSO BURNS CALORIES:)
* Aretha Franklin - Chain of Fools
* Michael Jackson - Beat It
* Beatles - Twist and Shout
* Cameo - Word Up

* Fall Out Boy - Dance, Dance

* Fun - Some Nights

* AC/DC - Back in Black

* Toby Mac - Burn For You

* 3 Doors Down - Kryptonite

Again, those are just a few of the tunes I'll throw on and then dance around like a loon. It's all about getting your body moving. When you have some upbeat music on, vacuuming and dusting or moping the floor (or what have you) is not only a little more enjoyable, but goes faster and becomes a better calorie burn. 

Like I said... I've dropped over 40 pounds so far just using these little tips. You've probably heard it before, but I'm the proof that it works.  

There's no need for anything other than eating right and moving your bod. 

“Diet food is for lazy people.” 
― Ice-T

Waiting to Exhale

I tried yoga once but took off for the mall halfway through class, as I had a sudden craving for a soft pretzel and world peace. 

~Terri Guillemets



In the past few weeks, I have been under a stress load that mechanical engineers would have a hard time finding a logical answer to the equation of "how is it  possible to hold that kind of load." 

Life changing news has come about which I'm not at liberty to share at this time, I'm 100 pages into my first full-length novel and self-doubt and worry is running amok, my mother's health is troublesome, my daughters are starting to take test runs from the nest and other things are going on between home and work that have me wondering if I'm made of elastic and what the ultimate breaking point is.  I think my stress load can be equated to the load per unit area or the force (F) applied per cross-sectional area (A) perpendicular to the force as shown in the equation below:

 

Now, the best part of this whole thing is I just probably sounded really smart here and I have to thank Engineersedge.com for their insight for the formula above. I could honestly try to figure it all out, but the left side of my brain, the analytic side, has a very hard time with math and physics. I'm a right-brained person overall and if I think about it at length, it gets complicated and I'd probably short circuit. I try not to think about it.  Darned analytics. Now I'm thinking about it. 

So back to yoga. 

It's something not-so-new I'm working on. I'm seriously trying to decompress and work on some kind of Zen state I really want to achieve. I seriously doubt I will achieve that calm that surpasses my understanding; however, if I can reach a point where I can focus on the breath and the body and shut the world out for however long, I will have achieved something. Eh?

Now... back to downward dog... Which to tell you my mental state always makes me think, "Bad dog, good dog," while I'm waiting to exhale... I gotta work on that.