All Because of Laundry

"Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end 

of it, and others do just the same with their time."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 

I had a rude awakening tonight (one of several actually) and I thought I would share it with you. I'm not really proud of this revelation, but self-discovery is always interesting - especially when uncovering the baser parts of human nature. Tonight's discovery concerned "entitlement." 

When we talk about "entitlement", generally it's about the "younger" or "next" generation and  their expectations to make large salaries upon graduation from college - or even high school. Youth today seems to expect to have things handed to them that my generation and back had to work and work hard to achieve. 

So it's with a grimace I'm sharing with you this experience.

With the move to Dallas, Yoda and I are tapped out financially for a bit.  We've been living paycheck to paycheck for a while, but this pretty much takes the cake - having to take on apartment rental on top of a mortgage payment (which will be covered by someone renting the house for the time being, but I digress...) There are extra utilities, two households worth of groceries, extra gasoline for now driving in the Metroplex (as well as back and forth) and many more miles to work ... you get the picture.  

And to clarify, tapped out means just that. I have enough money for a tank of gas and about $20 left for groceries until I get paid again. If other bills need to get paid, fuhget'boutit. They will be late. I can accept this as it's only for a couple of weeks. (I hope.) 

However... I HAD to go to the grocery tonight and get some laundry detergent and fabric softener in order to have clean clothes to wear. Wandering around naked just isn't an option. No one, save Yoda, wants to see all of this hanging out.

This decision was the beginning of the end.

I don't buy the big name brands of detergent. I'm a middle of the road kind of gal.  So as a general rule I get the BIG VALUE 150 load bottles of soapy-wonderment for something like 10 bucks. About that. I only had $11 to spend on both tonight. The store I went to carried my normal detergent in a smaller size, but the price was $7.50. Seriously? That's not helpful. At all. Why spend that much for so much less...? And then not be able to afford anything but the $1.99 fabric softener which smelled like... like... well... I don't have a good description. There are perfumes that don't smell that bad. And it was runny. It was so watery... Why even bother? 

So I sat pacing the freakin' detergent aisle for the longest time and finally bought a small bottle of the store brand of detergent and a decent bottle of fabric softener. I paid $10.20.  

This whole thing brings me back to "entitlement." 

I would like to think at my age I would have learned my lesson and saved for the rainy day, paid off all the freakin' credit cards (which in the overall scheme of things are completely unnecesary and just a bunch of BS) and actually achieved something more than living paycheck to paycheck.  However, I apparently didn't learn it and as a result I sat in the grocery store thinking that I should be able to get any damned laundry detergent I wanted because I'm old enough by George.  (Insert foot-stomp here.)

George had nothing to do with it. 
I'm not entitled to my favorite detergent. 
I'm just a girl who is starting over in life... in the middle of life. 

What I have learned from this is that we all get second chances to get things right and to make things better.  I have a feeling 2014 will see a lot more change than I have already experienced and will also see me humbling myself and admitting that just because I'm older, doesn't mean I'm wiser... not just yet.